Katra
by Taskemus
Summary: A story from the POV of the child Spock during Star Trek III. It's not finished, but please read anyway.


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. Paramount and Viacom do.  
  
Summary: This is my idea of what happened in Star Trek III, from the point of view of the child Spock. I am assuming that this child had his own katra.  
  
Darkness. Darkness, everywhere, surrounding me, choking me, blinding me. I blinked, but the darkness still surrounded me. I had to escape this dark, but could not. It was a small space, a dark space, and I could not get out.  
  
Afraid, I cried out, but there was no sound in the awful place that I was in. I had a sudden thought - _Cry out your name. They will hear you._ But I knew no name. I knew nothing except for a fleeting memory of a peaceful, floating sound. Music. Nice, sad, music. I lay there in agony as my ears yearned for sound, for the music, but none came.   
  
I was alone. Deeply alone in this darkness. My body yearned for food but there was nothing in this awful, stuffy place, and I could not get out. I could not get out. In desperation I swung my hands up, and made a sound of amazement as they struck something. A sort of roof, it was. I pushed up on this roof, and screamed in delight as sunlight hit my eyes. Light! Warmth!  
  
Climbing hurriedly out of the place that I had been imprisoned in, I searched all the while for food. Food. I had to find something in this place, wherever I was, that I could eat. There was a thin, dry grass on the ground and I picked it up and held it inside my palm, curious. Was this food? I sniffed at it. It smelled different from the darkness, so I slipped it slowly inside my mouth, wondering at the plant's odd taste. I swallowed. Yes, this was food. There were some green berries next to the grass, and quickly I popped these into my mouth as well. Hunger satisfied, I ran from the place, eager to get away from the awful memories that it presented. I ran all of that day, and most of the night, when hunger and sleep began to call out to me. I was very far from the place I had started, in the middle of a small desert. I scuffed my feet through the thick sand, exploring this new and exciting place. It was warmer here, which was good, but there was no water in little pools on the ground as I had become used to. In fact, I didn't even see anything that looked like food.   
  
There was nothing small at all here, just giants, huge, green, scary giants of plants. I sighed, but it seemed like there was no other food to be found here. Reluctantly, I took a bite out of one of the giant plants, and immediately yelped and jumped back. I stared at the thing with wide eyes, rubbing my mouth with my fingers. Something had happened to me. The plant had done something to my mouth! Bringing my hand back down to touch the plant again, I noticed that my fingers were covered in an odd, light green liquid. I whimpered slightly, afraid of this new danger.   
  
Slowly, I reached out to touch the strange, huge, spike covered plant. As soon as my fingers interacted with one of the spikes, it happened again, and more of the green fluid poured out of my fingers. Suddenly, I understood. Pain. The plant was bringing this pain to me whenever I touched it. I sat there for a few seconds, confused at this, then walked away from it afraid of this new sensation. Even as I walked further and further away from the plant the pain did not leave me, and more and more of the green liquid poured out of my mouth and hands.  
  
Exhausted from walking, I finally sat down in the now cold desert sand, without food, water, or anything to stop this bleeding.  
  
*************************************  
  
  
I awoke the next morning without knowing that I had gone to sleep. I stood up, shivering still. I was slightly perplexed at this. Yesterday, it had been warm. But I didn't have time to think about that. I needed to find some food and water quickly.   
  
I started off on my way, but was disappointed in finding nothing to eat. Only the huge plants, which I knew by now to avoid. Suddenly, I felt something tapping on my shoulder. I spun around, but saw nothing. Confused, I kept walking, and then it came again. I looked behind me, and this time I saw what it was. Little white balls were falling from the sky! I blinked, unsure whether they would hurt me or not. I watched these strange creatures for a bit, then saw that they bounced off the ground. I laughed at this funny action.   
  
Perhaps these curious little balls were alive... like me. Maybe they where my family, or other things of my sort. As they came raining down, I picked one up in my hand. It had an unusual texture, sort of wet and grainy. Watching the others bounce down, I slowly let the white thing go, and watched in fascination as it bounced down on the ground and jumped back up into my hand. Wow. I wondered if maybe this little white ball _was _like me. Maybe if it was it could help me to find food. No sooner had this thought come into my head, though, than immediately the small white balls changed. I cupped my hand to catch some more, and found that they were melting in my hand, and that they no longer hurt as they fell onto me.  
  
The peculiar things now latched onto me as they fall and covered me with their freezing texture. I watched this, astonished. In a few minutes, the entire sandy ground was covered in this amazing white mess. I had been holding my hand unknowingly in a fist, and as I opened my palm to touch the white flakes, I saw that it had melted further inside of my hand, and now looked like water. Of course, this water was covered with the new green liquid which poured from my wounds, but I was so parched with thirst that this did not matter to me. I drank it quickly, and soon was on my hands and knees gulping up more of this now thick thirst quencher.  
  
The surprising white stuff was now quite tall, and I trudged through it hoping to somewhere find food. After a short while, though, I became tired, and lay shivering in the cold. I had thought these white things were my friends. Now they were trying to take away my existence.  
  
My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I had not eaten since I had first escaped from the darkness. The darkness. It seemed so unreal, so ethereal. Perhaps I had just dreamed the darkness. It seemed that way to me now, as I had no clear memory of that time. Suddenly I remembered something - the music. The music was real. It seemed to be the only memory that I had about the darkness and whatever it was that came before it.   
  
As I sat there, getting gradually covered by the cold whiteness, I realized that if the white balls had been one of my kind, they had just changed and left me all alone here. I made a vow to myself that I was going to find something else that was like me, that moved like me and breathed like me and most of all looked like me.  
  
  
******************************************  
  
I had been walking for quite a long time, maybe all day. Suddenly my eye caught something green popping up from under all of the white, and I bent down, hands numb and tingling from the cold. It was a plant, smooth and skinny, not sharp and fat like the others.I took it into my hand, ready to bite into it, when all of a sudden I stopped, and looked at it harder. Yes, there was a resemblance. The odd green plant had five leaves on it, just like my hand did. But this plant was only a hand, and was cold and dead and rotting. Not like me at all. Sadly I stuffed the plant into my mouth and kept walking as the sky grew darker.  
  
******************************************  
  
I stared. Above me was a giant, giant thing, made of rock and dirt and white flakes. It looked like I would have to somehow get over it if I wanted to continue walking. I shivered, knowing from experience that giant things hurt me. But it seemed like I would have to climb over this thing.   
  
Slowly, I advanced over the slope, favoring my right leg as I had fell on it the other day. I was still climbing hours later, and it was very hard to keep climbing as the rock face was covered in some sort of hard , slippery water. I turned slowly to look down, and the sight made me dizzy. Still looking at the ground far below, I lifted my hand to find another hand hold.   
  
Suddenly the world was upside down and I was falling, the whole world spinning at my feet. I cried out loudly in fear, and the next thing I knew was darkness.  
  
*********************************************  
  
I awoke covered in pain and white flakes, back down at the bottom of the cliff. I whimpered in fear, looking up at the cliff with newfound terror. Slowly, I stood up, and gasped as I felt a surge of pain shoot through my leg. Looking at it, I saw a large gash running down it.  
  
I had to go on. Taking a tentative step further, I advanced up the cliff.  
  
****************************************************  
  
I shivered, suddenly feeling very weak and afraid. I had made it up the cliff hours ago and was now walking in an endless plain. I couldn't feel my legs at all, and it was a wonder that I was still walking. My hands were turning a ghastly shade of bluish-green, and they stung awfully. I shivered again, and this time realized how cold my ears were. I brushed some of my medium-length dark hair over their decidedly pointed tips and tried to keep walking. I decided that I must have walked halfway across the planet by now.  
  
The cold was getting to me. This was the coldest place that I had ever known and it shocked me by being so harsh. I turned my head slightly, looking back against the small trail I had made, then looked ahead. I could see barely nothing in this blizzard but what I did see was not something that I wished to see again. All I could see was white, barren land. The giant spiky plants had gradually disappeared, giving way to taller trees that were also capped in white, like everything else here.   
  
I sneaked a glance backwards and saw that my trail had been almost completely covered by the white flakes. I cursed myself for ever thinking that these treacherous things could be my friends, for they were scratching at me and howling like a pack of wild lematyas.   
  
If my trail had disappeared so quickly, any tracks which I made in attempting to go further would, too. I stopped in my tracks, the frozen wind blowing past my face, biting me mockingly in the process. This world would be better off not knowing that I had ever come. I would stand here, freezing, until the storm let up, or until I died of hunger or of the cold. If it was possible to be killed by these seemingly harmless white flakes, I would be the one they would kill.   
  
Leaving behind all hope, I stayed rooted in my spot, helpless. I don't know how long it was that I stayed there, but it seemed like forever. I was thinking of giving up more than I had already when suddenly I saw something coming towards me.  
  
I blinked. Whatever it was, it was moving. Moving. I felt a surge of excitement rush through my body - maybe this thing would be like me.   
  
Suddenly I realized how cold it was, and how small and helpless that I was against these small, white flakes. I had to get away from here. I tried to move one of my legs to walk, but it was too numb, and I found that I couldn't move. Looking down at it, I saw that it had turned a deep shade of black and the green fluid was pouring from it. I would have cried right then if the moving thing hadn't been still coming towards me.  
  
I blinked again, and saw that there were two of them. They were like me, but all of my joy was forgotten against the horrible cold that I was in. As they got closer and closer to me I heard them conversing, and also the sound of something making a terrible, high-pitched bird-song. I whimpered in fear, hoping that this awful beeping thing would not hurt me.  
  
As soon as they were close to me, one of them, who looked very much like me and who I believed was female, stooped down to my height. She touched my injured leg and I again whimpered in pain. Seeing this, she brought a hand down and stroked my cheek, then brushed back a strand of my hair that was covering my ear. I looked up at her in wonder. Finally, after all this searching, I had found what I had been looking for. The female looked at my ear for a second, then said something to her companion. Then she again turned to me.  
  
Saavikwimish. Kup stariben. She said, and this time I knew that I should have understood what she was saying but for some reason did not. I stood there, unsure, while she spoke slowly to the other with her.  
  
He was male, I knew, but was somehow different than me and the female. At first I could not place what it was, but as I looked at him suddenly I knew. It was his ears. They were curious, not at all like the ones that I possessed. Instead of having sharply pointed tips, they looked as if they had been rolled out, and instead were smooth and circular. And his hair was of a slightly different texture, kind of like the grass I had seen when first emerging from the darkness, and it looked like somehow he had taken all of the color away from it.  
  
The female was different than him, more like what I had seen when stooping down to glimpse in the small pools of water on the ground. Her ears ended in points, as did her eyebrows. Her hair was like mine, but longer, and the ends of it were wound up in tight spirals. I silently mouthed the words she had spoken to me, and wondered at their meaning.  
  
They must have seen me looking at them, for the ones like me stopped talking. The female took something out of her pocket and spoke to it, and I pondered if the odd thing was like me too. I supposed that it was, as it spoke back in a soft voice which gradually became louder and voiced astonishment. I listened, intrigued. Suddenly the voice gave way to a strange noise, and I jumped backwards, afraid again.  
  
The two like me conversed for quite a long time, and I sat there in the cold just listening to the sound of their language roll on their tongues. Sometimes I caught a hint of anger or sadness, usually fear, but it always left immediately. I hoped that someday I would come to understand this language, but so far it just passed through one ear and out the other and I couldn't make any sense of it.  
  
After a while, they noticed me again, and the female tried to clothe me in some sort of black robe, but it was much too large.  
  
Silently the female and the male began to walk through the cold , wet flakes, and without knowing that I was doing it I followed them. We must have walked all day and partially through the night, but I was glad of it as the cold flakes left us and it began to become warm again. I started at seeing giant trees on the ground, lying there defeated in the rocky place that we were in.  
  
The female led us to a cliff, talking to the male in a voice of worry. We ascended it, although the female had to carry me up, and I whimpered the whole way. After our climb we rested in a cave.  
  
It was colder up here, and the male was trying to create a fire by rubbing the tree roots together. I watched, fascinated, as the large, dry, grimy things soon ignited, and burst into flame. The female was running her hands along the cave wall, some of the rocks flaking off at her touch.  
  
Genesis Peak. She said, and suddenly I understood and knew that that was the name of this place. Genesis Peak.   
  
The male rubbed at his head, obviously tired. It was much colder up here, and I was shivering almost as much as I had been while standing there in the snow. The male stared at me for a while, noticing my shivering. He said something to the female, then tossed me the black robe, which I supposed I should wear.  
  
I put it on clumsily, and it struck me that the robe fit me now. I wondered at this, as only this morning it had been much too big. It was very heavy, and warm, but still I shivered, and saw that the white flakes were again here and were shifting into the cave. I saw that the darkness of night has come and I instinctively moved from the darkness and into the light.  
  
Still, even sitting there next to the golden-bronze fire, I was cold. The male seemed to be taking this all right, but the female shivered slightly. She undoubtedly had not had much contact with cold, as I had had much, and felt it more. I shivered again, and the female watched this almost sympathetically. She pondered something, then took off her warm, outer layer of clothing and gave that to me. I raised my face to put it on and she gasped, and stared at me in wonder.  
  
I wondered what it could be about me that could cause her to do that. Perhaps it was my wounded leg? I looked at it, and immediately the pain of it came back to me, and I cried out.  
  
The male stirred as I did this, and only then did I realize that he was asleep. Following his example, I lay down on the hard, cold, stone floor, and the last thing I saw was the female slipping outside to catch a breath of fresh air.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Pain! I awoke and suddenly there was pain, all around me and inside me and it burned. This pain! This pain, this pain was the worst pain I had ever felt, yet there was no green. The green stayed inside me, and it moved through me and slowly burned, and I touched my skin and it was hot. I tried to get up and walk but I shook too much and the pain spiraled through me and came in spasms and it was a fire, slowly destroying my veins and my skin and it kept moving and I could do nothing about it. I was afraid of this, so afraid, and I cowered there and tried to hide my pain.  
  
But I had not counted on it being so great, so great, and burning, searing, tearing me apart. Without knowing it I opened my mouth and let the pain come out and closed my eyes so as not to see the shaking world that came with this pain. I cried out, wanting only touch, to calm me, but none came, and this time I screamed, and heard the beeping, which was louder, and my body shook and I screamed with the pain, and screamed again, and it was awful, it burned me, and burned my very veins, and I screamed, and I was shaking so hard I thought I might throw up.  
  
I felt the presence of another there with me, but could not control it, and screamed in rage at this awful thing that was happening to me. I turned my head in fear and looked at the one in the cave, and it was the female, and I did not want her to see my fear but could not help it, and I shuddered in the intense pain that was hitting me now.  
  
I watched, amazed, as the female slowly walked towards me, and silenced my cries. She said something in a comforting tone to me, and I stopped shaking and stared at her. I knew I was supposed to have understood what it was she told me, but did not, and felt tears in my eyes begging to come out but did not let them. I stared at her.  
  
She said something else, and her voice comforted me, and I allowed her to take a step closer to me. She kneeled down so that we were both on the same level.  
  
Dungi tu sahraefel? She asked me calmly, and this time I understood, somehow.  
  
_Will you trust me_, she had said, and I stared at her still, wondering. I would have responded somehow had there not still been fire in my veins, and I writhed there in quiet agony.  
  
Slowly, the female extended her hand, and closed all of her fingers but two, which she showed me. I looked at them, unsure of what to do. She looked into my eyes, then reached out and placed my fingers in the same configuration. Moving slowly, gently, she reached out with her fingers and stroked mine with them. Immediately all of my pain went down, and I looked up at her with wonder. She had given me something with that touch, and I now understood all about her. It would have been wonderful had I not still been burning.   
  
Since the pain was almost gone, I began to relax, and steady my breathing. She seemed to be waiting for something, and very slowly, I lifted my two fingers and stroked her hand the way she had stroked mine. She stroked mine back, and this time I had more confidence, and responded strongly. Slowly we moved closer, until her lips brushed mine, and I accepted them as I had her fingers, and slowly, as we grew more close, my pain was eased completely.  
  
**********************************************  
  
  
  
I awoke the next morning, calm, with the female by my side. I remembered how, that night, I had for the first time spoken her name. This name had come from when she had first touched me, and I had felt both of our minds and memories swirling together.  
  
I had said, and she had stared at me in awe , then, recovering herself, had taught me something about myself.  
  
She had said, and I understood once more, and we both understood, and had gone to sleep.  
  
As my eyes fluttered open I felt touch on my forehead, and it was Saavik's. She looked at me with concern, but I felt nothing but happiness that my pain had gone, and perhaps love for her at the touch we had shared. She said something comforting, stroking my forehead, then saw how tired I was. She turned and took out that awful beeping thing. I blinked again, trying to stay awake, but instead drifted back off into the sleep. This sleep was a wonderful thing. I felt the sensation of soft rock under my head, and Saavik's touch on my face, and for once it was calm. Sleep took me once again.  
  
**************************************************  
  
  
The first thing that I knew when I awoke was that Saavik's touch had left me, and then I felt sudden pain and anger coming from her, and I opened my eyes, adjusting to the harsh afternoon light. The first thing I saw were two huge arms coming towards me, and suddenly I was up in the air, being held by some sort of oddly shaped male. He did not look much like me, and from the fear Saavik was projecting I did not think I wanted him to. I felt his rough touch on my body and was glad I was wearing this robe. For some reason I did not want his touch on my bare skin.   
  
I fought against the odd male, but he was almost as strong as I, and even through the struggle that I put up, he did not let go, and had to drag Saavik and me forcibly out of the cave. The next few minutes were a painful blur as the extraordinary male hurled us off of the cliff and pain reached me at the bottom. At first I imagined this to be only the normal pain that I had when hurting myself, but when the male pulled me to my feet, I realized that it was not. The pain I had felt earlier, that had left when Saavik and I had shared touch, was back, and there was also a strange pain in my feet and my joints, and I felt very dizzy and very angry, especially at the male who had brought this all on. The strange male with the large forehead. It seemed as if all of the wrinkles on his face had left him, reappearing on his overly large forehead. For a few seconds he averted his eyes from us, as if wishing Saavik or I was someone else, then another of his kind joined us, tossing over the male whom I knew from that small glimpse of Saavik's mind was called David.  
  
After a minute the first male spoke, and in his voice was much disgust and confidence, and little patience for us. I thought perhaps this time I might understand the language, but it was all mixed up in my mind, and all I could think of was the pain welling up inside of me. David showed signs of injury and I wondered if these strange, dirty beings had done it to him.  
  
I saw that the male's words were hurting Saavik, but she did her best to hide this and stepped forward confidently to face the Klingon. I was shocked in seeing that in her voice and movement that she was going to surrender to this beast, but I dared not cry out as I knew that my terrible pain would come pouring out of my mouth if I did so. I only stood in place, shaking, unsure of what these strange males were about to do.  
  
They all began speaking again, even the beeping things, and I cowered down and tried to stop the fire that was taking me over. I watched with confusion as they all continued to exchange words, then suddenly one of the males began to disappear. I hoped that this would be the end of him, and he would not return.  
  
Unfortunately the other remained, and after a tense silence of Saavik and David, the second male creature held a beeping thing up to Saavik and she spoke into it, obviously worried, yet none of this came out in her voice. The male listened to this, then tore the beeping thing from her hands and produced something that was unmistakably something meant to hurt. It was giant, and that alone frightened me. The male walked calmly behind us, giving me the meaning that he did not wish to harm us. I relaxed my muscles, but immediately felt Saavik's projected fear again, fear greater than I had felt from her before. The male was going to stop the life from her.  
  
But I knew that I could not react. If I did, I would be harmed. Suddenly my sharp ears picked up the sound of David, David stopping the male from hurting her. I watched as David struggled with the creature, then saw his body go limp.  
  
I wondered why he had chosen this moment for sleeping, and then abruptly understood the truth. He was dead.  
  
The male made a sound of satisfaction, then looked up at the sky, made some guttural noises, and suddenly forced me away from the others. I did not cry out, even though my blood burned hard enough for me to have killed that male.   
  
It was a place of horror. The trees were killing themselves, the ground was opening up, and the sky was falling down. Finally I let my anger loose and screamed, screamed for my life and the life of this place so near Genesis Peak.   
  
I yearned for Saavik, but she could not come, and the trees continued to fall as the sky grew darker. Saavik seemed to be waiting for something, then one of the trees crashed near the male creatures, and they cried out in terror. Saavik seized her chance, and rushed over to me.  
  
The ground rumbled, and I cried out in pain as it hurt me as well as the other pain. I knew that I would die here. If every second hurt me so much, there was no chance I could live. Saavik continued toward me, ready to cradle my head in her arms, when suddenly one of the males noticed and dragged her away. The rumbling came again, and the pain was too much to handle, and I screamed.  
  
The male stopped, watching me. I was ready to kill him, this thing who brought so much pain to me. He reached towards me and I hated him, and heard the throbbing of my heart in my ears, and threw the beast as far as I could. I hoped to never see him again. I covered my face with my hands as the pain came searing up me, and the other male watched this, fascinated.  
  
They could do nothing now, and Saavik ran to me and held me in her arms, comforting me, and part of the pain eased but the part that came in the rumbles did not. The pain was huge, and loud noise came but it was pain to my ears and my breathing became slower and then some sort of awful sleep took over me.  
  
And in this sleep came voices, and the feeling of leaves on my face, and touch, and being moved, then left alone, and in my sleep I cried out for this was an awful dream, a terrible dream. Then huge, amazing, giant pain came, and I was frightened, and wished I did not exist, or at least that this pain and this sleep leave me. And then it came, and I knew nothing but dreamless sleep.  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Still in the sleep, I felt a hand on my face, and in my mind the image came, of a woman with ears like mine. She glared down at me, and somehow I knew that she would be my downfall. I knew that after all those times that I was so close to death, I would die here. I knew that this seemingly innocent woman would kill me. I knew that I would die because of her, and the selfishness of the others around me. I knew that soon all life would be sucked from me.  
  
And it was.  
  
FIN.


End file.
